This article shows how good foods improve relationships. We have been discussing the correlation between a good cook and good relationship. The argument is whether a wife/fiancé who is a good cook is likely to be loved better than a kitchen newbie.
Now, a kitchen newbie is not a bad cook, but someone that is about to become a great cook.
Are You Subscribed?
If you are subscribed to my free weekly newsletter you probably read my email about how good foods improve love and relationship.
This is the online version of that email, the discussion continued here. The email was my opinion regarding my encounter and relationship with other women, but what we have here is a collective idea.
More like a discussion you can also add your own comment via the comment form below.
Good Cooking and Relationships
So do you think there are benefits to being a good cook… as a wife/fiancé? Well… my answer would be a somewhat “yes”, and I will tell you my reasons.
I am quite aware of the controversial nature of this topic, but no matter how far we would like to drag the subject, it would never erase the fact that women run the kitchen in the African setting.
This may change as western civilization absorbs the African culture, but at the moment it is a fact that can never be neglected.
Other factor that may also influence this culture would be the economic empowerment of women, but in the season and time we live in, women run the kitchen.
One can never truly comprehend the reason behind the angst and chaos that builds up in a home that is run by a kitchen newbie, sometimes it gets to a point that the relationship between a couple becomes very fragile.
Just to prove a point, I got this email from a member of the kitchen sometimes ago
What She Said
Hello Chidi, thanks for your wonderful recipes and emails. Can you believe I was almost driven out of my husband’s house because of foods? My husband makes me do all the cooking and wouldn’t eat out. At first I thought I couldn’t do it and it resulted into quarrels and troubles for me and my husband. Your website actually made me believe I can cook; I made a decent soup yesterday and hope to improve with time, all thanks to you for saving my marriage o. God bless the kitchen (Mrs Catherine Ehule)
I also got lots of emails after I sent the newsletter on “how good foods improves love/relationship” like this one below
You are so right Chidi. Am not yet married, but believe me, I have seen how this food issues can destroy beautiful relationships. I dnt wanna take chances, and I love new things. So, am ready to journey wit u into d great world of FOOD. Haha.
Good food and Love
Like I did state initially, this is more like a discussion and there would be collective ideas. I believe that every woman want to run a peaceful home, and I have also learned from experience that being a motivated good cook makes the whole process a lot easier.
For the African woman; either you are a good cook or you are wealthy enough to employ a cook. I said in the email that a man will pay for foodstuff, but most men would never pay a cook, either the woman cooks the food or she pays the cook 😀
However, there are exceptions; I have even seen families where men also love to cook; but that doesn’t happen often in our part of the world. In our part of the world, there are just three options for the women.
Allow the angst and chaos to get to the boiling point.
Employ a cook.
Learn to cook.
If you are a kitchen newbie, you have absolutely nothing to worry about; you can fast-track the entire process in less than one month, there are hundreds of free recipes on this blog. The Latest edition of The Ultimate Nigerian Cookbook is also available (the best product in the world for making delicious Nigerian foods) was created just for you.
The Ultimate Nigerian Cookbook shows you how to make over 60 different Nigerian foods and drinks with easy to follow recipes, step by step images and so much more. You will learn to make Foods by different ethnic groups and cultures.
Click Here To Learn More
I hope that it would motivate us enough to take control of our individual kitchen, why? Because I have learned from experience that wives/fiances that are also good cooks end up getting more love and respect.
Good Food Testimonies
Here is what Ijeoma has to say.
I thank you so much for bringing honor to my marriage. I’m two-month-old in marriage. I already know a little how to cook some foods, but not all. You have added more knowledge to the little I know on how to make different foods. . My husband after eating asks me how I learned to make his native food. The taste of my meals is now the order of the day by my sister/brother in laws staying with me. They keep saying, and I quote you are a great cook, did you go to any catering school?” I keep smiling each time they make that comment. Thanks and keep your flag flying. Blessing Ijeoma, Nigeria”
This goes a long way to reiterate the fact that a good cook wife/fiancé is more likely to be loved and respected than a fresher. All of what you have read so far is not just my opinions, but also that of diverse women from diverse backgrounds.
Please use the comment box below, I would love to read your story, tell us how good foods improved your love life and relationship.
62 Comments
yes you’re very right as the man of the house you may know how to cook good food but you may not be in kitchen all the time, now for the fact that am a chef and know what may be missing in any meal, i still love my wife and want her to cook my food especially weekdays. my submission is that good cook makes relationship stronger.
thank you so much for your in put.I love to cook.the kitchen is my best friend.I am getting married to an Igbo man that’s why I subscribed to you so I can learn how to cook Igbo from foods.am a Zambian lady ready to take on Nigerian foods so I can make my future husband happy always.the way to the man is his stomach.
I love your recipes please I am in Abuja how do I get the cook book.
Well, it has been of good worth being a follower of your blog and an owner of your books. Now,hubby looks forward to my different type of rice and my kids can’t wait to see what I bring to the table on sundays.
Goodday Ma, i just want to appreciate your timeless effort on making sure that every nigerian women becomes good cooks which is a necessity;am not married though,but am not having problem with cooking our Nigeria tribals food,except most intercontinental foods,which that`s the main reason i pick interest in your site,it will really be appreciated if you can be introducing that too! Terra Edet.
THANK YOU CHY…. I HAVE YOUR BOOK I MADE OKORO AND EVERYONE LOVED IT. BUT MY OFE NSALA WAS QUITE BITTER…. YOU DIDNT WARN ME..LOL… I ADDED PLENTY UZIZA LEAVE
Hi, I always av problem with My husband because of food I can only prepare common food but he want something different. Please how can u help me
Hi Chi. Keep up the good work. I am an excellent cook but I think our cooks are not innovative enough. I intend to share some tips on this platform in future as my contribution to your efforts. Every Woman needs to be able to cook. Thanks
Chidi am soooooo happy to be a member I love cooking soooo much ad I hv leanrt more n more different types of food my man is enjoying them oooo
Every morning I wake up to the Nigerian Kitchen telling me about exciting native foods. It is extremely hard and expensive to find the ingredients here in the US. Would you ever take one of your recipes and give us substitutes for something like crayfish. The different leaves are especially hard to come by also. I did find goat meat..
Hi chy, i really thank God that i stumbled on this site. In the early days of my marriage cooking was always a cause of chaos at home till i threw myself into it with help from your blog. God bless u
Hi, I admire your hard work so well and honestly you are doing a good job. I love cooking myself and inventing lots of different new recipes. So i can imagine that you are really doing a difficult job very well. But this is just my opinion, i know men like good cooking and it may makes them love their wives, but a man loving you for your good food is a subjective thing. It’s not a licence to love, for all men in all cases. Thank you.
Actually I really don’t know the pride in a woman that does not know how to cook. A woman can be very beautiful but if she knows next to nothing in kichmatics, her beauty is nothing. The pride of any woman should be her dexterity in the act of cooking. A woman that knows how to cook will never lose her husband to another woman. A woman that knows how to cook will never find it difficult to get anything from her husband. A woman that is not good in the kitchen has a lot of problem in her hand. As the saying goes, the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It remains a proven fact at all times. These days women have forsaken their job in the kitchen to run after contracts and money, leaving their husband’s stomach in the hands of cooks, house helps and restaurant women. If tomorrow one of them is able to woo the man down in a food connected relationship, the wife begins to raise dust, binding the devil and witches. but the lapses were caused by her. Women should take care of their husband’s stomach first. Even if your husband knows how to cook, you shouldn’t keep him there all the time lest he values his own food more than yours. Play your role very well. A good wife supplements her rich quality with magic fingers in the kitchen. The man cannot help but love you more. I am a Man and I talk from a man’s point of view.
THANK YOU, I am from the western part of Nigeria and always want to be able to suprise my family and future husband with different foods and see u made it possible for me…I LOVE YOU!
pls I have try to get my own copy of Nigeria cook book last week but the person I sent was not in lagos and they said Wednesday was the last delivery so I want to know the particular day for this week so that the person can be able to get it cs I am in ile ife osun state and really need the book, I will be very happy if u can send me the day and the number I can reach in lag.kudos to u u are doing a wonderful job here.
I tell you, you re helping a lot of us here especially me. Cos I was getting bored of my own cooking.
Chidi, Along with all that good Nigerian cooking comes the clean-up. The relationship with my hubby would improve immensely if he said, “Honey, you worked so hard in the kitchen making this delicious meal for me. Now, I am going to make our kitchen sparkle. Please sit down and relax. I love you so much!” Kris
Thanks Chidi, I am really enjoying your recipe and its been of great help to me especially in the kitchen, may God bless you and may He continue to increase your knowledge everyday of your life. what you are saying about good food and relationship is the pure truth, a good cook will not only get more love and respect from the husband but will also get more of his attention, just like the saying in the Igbo land that “you can get a man’s heart through his belly” . Thanks .
Due to the nature of my hubby’s job, he leaves home very early and comes back late most times, so he usually eats lunch out. But whenever I’m trying a new meal, he will starve himself of lunch just to make sure he eats very well when he gets home. He used to be ok with food outside but since we got married, he just hates eating out. Men love good food. The earliest my uncle goes home is 12am and that’s because he’s running away from his wife’s terrible cooking. I have seen first hand that good cooking not only spice up one’s love life, it also gives one respect. Thanks to you Chidi for helping me improve on my cooking. It just gets better everyday
Thanks for your recipes, i appreciate you though i’m just learning…not really a great cook but looking forward to be.
Food is one of the two things married men need most from their wives.
Thank you for your Nigerian recipes I am practicing for when my husband will be finally with me but I am having trouble in getting some ingredients in Australia the state I am in I have only 1 Nigerian shop and she doesn’t have much in there I need help to find them
So true, my hubby doesn’t eat out and each time my food is not teasty enough it so so quarrel for the the rest of that day, Chidi you have really helped me alot God will continue to promote you in every area of your life. Thank you
chi,u r really d best.tnx for all d secrets of good cooking u send to me daily.
Hi Chidi,
Let me 1st day thank u. I’m from the US and am in a relationship with a guy who is Igbo. I keep noticing that every time he comes over, he heads straight to the fridge. So I decided to attempt my hand at making his native foods b/c he doesn’t care for American food. The latest recipe was the ground nut soup. As popular as it is in Nigeria, he’d never had it before n he really liked it! I was thrilled!!! And he had nothing to compare the taste too because he’d never had any LOL. He sees me making efforts and he respects that about me. Now….. I’m not used to many of the ingredients like crayfish, dried fish, goat, shaki, liver etc so I don’t eat it but he loves it. THANKS so much for helping this newbie feed her guy 😉
Love dis for real…. Yes gud cooking improves loving relationship….. Cos forget oooo…. Ur man loves his Tommy too
Love dis for real…. Yes gud cooking improves loving relationship….. Cos forget oooo…. Ur man lives his Tommy too
Gud morning chy am a girl in her early 20s not married yet but I passionately want to be the best cook ever to my husband n family and I also love cooking,with d recipes I v learnt. 4rm u my mum prefers me doing d cooking diz days and am lyk wow is dat how much I v improved in cooking all tanx to u and all nigerian kitchen crew may God bless u as u walk towards bringing peace n stability in our homes
Good job, Chidi. There is no substitute for good food. A wife that cooks well earns the undying admiration of her husband, children, in-laws and even neighbours(if there are). I remember the day I went to my late dad’s office, his female colleagues jokingly told me to tell my mum to bring her recipes. They further told me that whenever he didn’t take lunch to his office, he would rather buy snacks. He hated buying food outside and whenever he was hungry, he always wanted to rush home. I know and i’m certain that being a good cook helps to keep ones relationship and bcos of that, i’m already addicted to your kitchen. Keep the good work going.
Though, have not been able to paticipate or do a good follow up on the recipe but i love good food.Is a nice idea.
Pls i need recipe for fried rice and jollof rice with procedure on how tocook it.
Thanks so much.
Nice work, and have learnt some recipes.
I naturally cook well (though my foods are limited ) and my husband doesn’t eat outside because of that. i am eager to learn more especially some foods from my husband’s state. i just made the online payment and i’m eagerly waiting to receive your package. May the Almighty God strengthen and bless u more.
The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. When a man eats good food, he definitely will love his wife more. My husband is a very good cook but I baffle him with the recipes I get from you. God bless you.
dear chy. I live in kaduna.where can l get the cooking book?
Thank you Chidi.
Hi Chidi! I know that in Nigeria (atleast the part I come from), it is the mentality that women are mainly to be the cook. I’m 40 and looking forward to meeting my nubian queen, in my quest to learn the secrets of successful marriage, I’ve also learnt that it won’t hurt if a husband helps out most times, just to show team work and care for his wife. Thanx for spicing up my culinary skills. I know she will be in awe by my magic touch in the kitchen.
Gud day chy ,iwant to buy ur rice recipes n eguide bt idnt no hw or rada dnt understand how to fil d page for atm so shud I pay in d bank? And if I do hw wi I get d sir 4 downloadin dem n agn iwant 2 get d ultimate nigerial cook book pls help me out ireally really want 2 improve my cookin
Hi Chi am sincerely grateful to ur blog which you have taken much time to handle. I actually passed a test on how to make nkwobi by my husband and dat has created a new love in us thanks am grateful
Hi chy thanks for ur good work.have been an average cook but since I met ur blog am now a better cook that hubby hardly or don’t eat out again,even my prince eats like an adult .all thanks to you chy keep the good work bubbling .
Chidi-chy-Chidi, in fact you are not the first but one of the best in Nija. Seriously speaking you are a wonderful product among women. Kudos to your dearly husband and kids,creative not a nagging woman.Although,I love cooking right away in my childhood, Even though if my fiance didn’t known how to cook I promise to put her through in all necessary steps,since you are my role model….Kingloluwa
Yeah!good cooking build and strenghtens a family and a relationship.a man after a hardwork outside,wen he remembers. His wife cooking makes him happy!and. Also with the help of prayers.
Goodmorng chy,tank u so much for ur inspiring website and cooking, I’ve learnt so much frm ur cooking. I’m so grateful , I pray for more grace and strenght for u.
You have change so many lives wit wat u are doing, God bless you. What of the women frm the north? U need to add food frm dat part of the country. Thank you. E
Thanks Chidi, I’m so enjoying your recipes. Improving day by day on my culinary skills. Also, good/delicious foods not only magnet attention, love n’ respect, it also drags envy w it *hahahahahaha* cos’ other babes feel so insecure when you’re with them, knowing you’re something else in the kitchen. Some of my friends distance themselves from me, you know women nah, small thing gets them jealous, who cares? I have my hubby loving me like there’s no tomorrow, cos of the delicacies I prepare, n’ believe me that’s all that matters. Ana m achikwanu…lmao!
Hello, I ve subscribed to your weekly newsletter n it has rily helped me in my cooking.Every man looks forward to coming home to a good meal despite all he might have eaten outside. So good cooking n happy relationships go hand in hand.Thank you ma’am n pls continue the good work. You have been of tremendous help to loads of women hence families.
Hi ma, I just simply want to say thank you for your amazing recipes. I’m a young lady in my mid 20s’ but yet to be married. I love to cook and my cooking has really improved through your kitchen. I’m the toast of all my sisters and my fiance loves my food too and I just feel so proud of myself. I just can’t wait to get married and start treating my family with nice recipes (thanks to you). God bless you real good.
Florence
Good cooks sure make better homes. Just imagining a man after a hard day’s work comes home only to meet ‘poti’, mehn…that 9t is spoilt. A man who has a good cook as a wife will always be eager to be home and can proudly invite friends to experience his wife’s magic fingers.
UNKNOWN TO YOU,YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB TO HUMANITY..THIS PROJECT WILL HELP SAVE NIGERIAN MARRIAGES ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO TRULY KNOW OR IMPROVE THEIR COOKING SKILLS THE NIGERIAN/ WEST AFRICAN WAY. NOW I AM TEACHING SOME OF YOUR RECIPES TO MY SINGLE XTIAN SISTERS AND THEY GREATLY LOVE THEM. MORE GREASE TO YOUR ELBOWS.
I must really say I have learned soo much from the kitchen. I admire your courage and how you have allowed yourself to be used of God to be a solution to families. Truly good food makes the love a man has for his wife keeps growing. It keeps him expectant, happy and eager to run back home. Weldon ma. I know my hubby gives me tips as pa extra money whenever I make him a treat from the kitchen. Not to bribe me but to say for that … I really appreciate. Kudos to THE KITCHEN and you MA!
You are so right Chidi, just cooking and no cooking can result to an unimaginable level of chaos in a home. I am saying this because I am a living witness, for me the adjustment process was really hard but it got to a point that I either had to learn to cook, take control of the kitchen or just fight. I love my family very much so I had to really bulge for them.
And yes, a good cook is more likely to be loved and respected and pampered
Hello Chidi, thanks for all your wonderful recipes. Please I need food to make my man to fall in love the more with me, I am not really great with cooking but I guess I am improving everyday, all thanks to your kitchen. Please what particular food can I prepare to make my man fall in love all over again? Thanks
I love cooking myself and my children can’t do without my food.
I pity their wives becos she must know how to cook or else! hmmm!
Cooking is a hobby to me, I cook all my food at home especially native Igbo food and I also learn from other tribes in Nigeria apart from hausa food. I like Omo Tuo with correct palmnut soup. God increase you in knowledge and wisdom in Jesus’ name. amen.
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Hey chi I love ur posts and blogs your foods are so tasty